Networking Sins

"31 Tips to Help Small Businesses Turn Casual
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Networking Sins

The Deadly Sins of Networking

There's a lot of things you should NOT do when networking. The list is long and ugly and a quick Google search will turn up some very amusing discourse. There are, however, three things that are especially damaging. If you find you’re guilty of these, work on turning them around. I’ll guarantee your networking experience will improve immediately.

The First Deadly Sin…
Almost without exception, when you ask someone “Who are you and what do you do?” , they immediately begin talking about themselves. They talk about what they do and they talk about what their business does. They toss around clichés and technical terms trying to impress you with how much they know and what they can remember. Some people hardly take a breath as they go on and on and on and….well, I'm sure you understand my meaning.

That is the First Deadly Sin: Talking about yourself too much and too early in the conversation. Think about it, what happens when someone does this to you? Are you interested? Do you hang on their every word? No, not likely. Chances are, you’ve probably already moved on mentally and are simply waiting for a chance to exist the conversation.   You are certainly not listening any longer.

Which brings me to the Second Deadly Sin: Not listening. Studies tell us most people don’t listen. And, if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all been guilty of not listening to others.

Think about why this is bad. The goal of networking is to build relationships. To do that, we need to know more about the people we meet. The more you know about that person, the more likely we are to understand what they need and how we can help them. Or if they are even someone we need to keep talking with.

Let’s face it, how can you sell something to someone if you don’t know for sure they will buy it? The more you know about them, the more likely you’re able to determine if they’re a prospect or a suspect. Or, if they know someone who may be a prospect. Also, the more you know about them, the easier it will be to decide if you can form a relationship with them.

Remember, people do business with people they know and trust. That goes for you as well…you’ll want to know enough about this person to decide if you want YOUR good name associated with them. More importantly, if you aren’t listening, you may miss the fact their son goes to the same college as your daughter. Or that their brother actually works for the very company where you’ve been trying to get your foot in the door.

The more you can get them to talk…the better your chance of hearing something important. So, I’m guessing you’re thinking “Okay, so I got the other person talking. I’m listening intently. When will they talk about something I care about?” Good question!

That leads me to Deadly Sin Number Three: Not asking the right questions. The use of good questions can help you keep the conversation moving in the direction you want it to go. The best questions move the conversation toward one of your strong points. Those strong points make up the value proposition that speaks directly to your perfect client.

The best questions you can ask will be tied directly to your perfect client.   Let’s look at a couple of examples. Say you’re a realtor and you’re looking for new listings. A good question might be “So tell me, do you live near your business? How’s your commute?”

This is a non-threatening question and it opens them up to several possible responses, not the least of which is the location of both their business and their home. Your follow up question could be “I’ve had success in that neighborhood. Who do you know that’s having a baby on your block?"   You ask this because growing families often need larger houses. With practice, you can come up with several good questions.

The thing to keep in mind is conversations are like chess. Always have one or two good questions in mind so the conversation doesn’t die. Here is something important that you'll want to keep in mind: always pose your questions in such a way that they can’t be answered with one word. If you get stumped, you can resort to some of my favorite conversation starters. For instance…

“So, tell me, what are you doing differently this year to counteract the effects of today’s economy?” or “How are you attracting new clients?”

And my personal favorite: “Tell me the single most important challenge your industry is facing today.”   There is rarely a response to this question that doesn’t take the conversation down a path to knowing how I might be able to help them or who I may know that could be of service to them.

Questions can also get you out of a conversation when you’ve determined it’s not going anywhere. A good example is “So, tell me again who you need to meet. I’ll be here for a while longer. I’d love to keep you in mind as I meet other people.” After they share who they need to meet, remind them of who you’re looking for.

One last thought on the use of questions. Don’t ask so many questions that you appear to be grilling or giving the person the third degree – the idea is to discover what you may have in common or how you may help the person. Contribute to the conversation by telling them something about yourself or offering information that may seem helpful.

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Implementing Ellen's technique made an immediate impact! I feel a
greater sense of confidence and effectiveness. My calendar is
getting busier and I’m meeting more of the “right” people
to help build my business." Anna Brent, MBA, CPA

Remember, it’s supposed to be a two way conversation with the goal of determining if there’s a relationship in your future. If you’d like to learn more about developing relationships, or any other networking topic, I offer a free 30-minute consultation. I can't promise I'll have all the answers, but I do guarantee you'll get at least a few good tips. Contact me directly at 703.732.9533 or email at Ellen@EllenKaminsky.com.

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